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Paper Boy Terrorized by Goat Named Voldemort

November 19, 2012 - By Anthony Konrad

It was a seemingly ordinary day in the life of 14-year-old Jaxon Gessel. The paperboy from Smithfield, Utah was on his usual route, when he was head-butted off his bike by a terrifying creature known as Voldemort the goat.

Voldemort’s owner Marissa Benson explained that her goat is usually nice and gentle with kids. In fact, Voldemort is narcoleptic, so much so that he falls asleep at any hint of danger or excitement. For some reason, when he escaped that morning, the goat decided to chase down Gessel.

“It made a weird noise, kind of like a grunting noise,” the frightened paperboy recalled. “I’m like, ‘What the heck is that?’ It just freaked me out when it stood up on its hind legs and just wrapped its front legs around me and pulled me off.”

In an attempt to escape from the animal, Gessel climbed up a tree. Whenever he thought it was safe to come down, Voldemort kept on re-appearing. Finally, two little girls were passing along and in an attempt to shield them from the goat, Gessel quickly climbed down and shooed the goat away.

While all’s well that ends well, Gessel’s ego took a beating.

“People are just like, ‘Why are you scared of goats?’” he recalled the taunting. “I’m like that was a freaky goat. I think it’s like possessed or something.”

As the goat was named after Harry Potter’s arch-nemesis, Voldemort’s owner has now dubbed Gessel as ‘The Boy Who Lived’.

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